


The Boring Life

by jasmine_sea



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: (other characters and relationships mentioned), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Diverges after season 2, Drug Use, I'm giving them the happy ending they deserve, M/M, POV Alternating, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recovery, Slow Burn, alcohol use, lovers to enemies to friends to lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-20
Packaged: 2021-03-21 21:00:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30027768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jasmine_sea/pseuds/jasmine_sea
Summary: Bellamy and Jasper had known each other well during the dropship days, but war and separation changed them, making them strangers once again. When Arkadia is met with true peace for the first time, they must confront their pasts and move on.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Jasper Jordan
Kudos: 4





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I watched the 100 for the first time recently and loved Bellamy and Jasper’s interactions throughout seasons 1-4. I wish the writers had expanded on their relationship more, but I suppose that’s what the internet is for. Imagine my surprise when I found out this pairing was extremely rare. Therefore, I felt the need to contribute this. Please enjoy and let me know if you liked it. Thanks!

_“I think we're alone now,  
There doesn't seem to be anyone around.  
I think we're alone now,  
The beating of our hearts is the only sound.”_

Unity Day: A fabricated lie created to maintain the illusion of peace on the Ark. Everyone knows it, but they pretend they don’t. It’s far more fun to party your problems away than to acknowledge your people’s dark history. It’s certainly no different for the 100. Or rather, the 90. 

Bellamy is seated on a bench in front of a campfire. He’s alone, near the tent region of camp. He watches the red-hot embers of the flame float away only to be extinguished in the night air. The others cheer in the distance. They’re celebrating. The Grounders could attack at any second, but Bellamy isn’t going to ruin this for them. This will be many of their final celebrations. 

Bellamy holds a glass in his hand and drinks. He told Clarke to have her fun. Now he’s having his. 

Someone takes a seat beside him. “You’re missing the fun,” they say. 

It’s Jasper. He’s flushed, a combination of the alcohol and the cold. He holds two blunts of… something. He reaches closely to the fire to ignite one. Too close. “Shit!” he curses, nearly dropping it. 

Bellamy is amused. “Is this the fun?”

Jasper smiles. “It’s about to be.” He brings the joint to his lips, inhales, and exhales. Bellamy watches the smoke flicker away.

Bellamy doesn’t know much about Jasper other than he was Octavia’s first friend as well as the first casualty. Damn near fatality too. 

“How’s your injury?” he asks.

Jasper raises an eyebrow at that. It’s only been two weeks, but everyone else has moved past that. “Uh, it’s good actually. Any pressure still hurts, but it’s healing well, all things considered.” 

“That’s good.” Bellamy then gestures at Jasper’s makeshift cigarette. “What’s that?”

Jasper looks at it and scoffs. “Hell if I know. Monty found some plant and said it works.” He holds out the second blunt to Bellamy. “Want one? There’s a lot of them.”

Bellamy smiles but shakes his head. “I’m good. I don’t smoke.”

Jasper blinks. “Never?”

“Didn’t see the need.”

Jasper, taken aback, narrows his eyes at Bellamy. “Really?”

Bellamy chuckles. “Unlike the rest of you, I had almost perfect behavior on the Ark.”

“Wow.” Jasper nods. “Couldn’t be me, but I actually admire that. Although, not to be a downer or anything, but if you want to try it, this may be your last chance.” Jasper frowns. “That still came out depressing, didn’t it?”

“It did,” Bellamy agrees. He’s still smiling though. Jasper’s more entertaining than he expected. “You think a Grounder will get me?”

“No,” Jasper disagrees. “You’ll be fine. Me on the other hand? We’ll see about that.” Jasper laughs to himself. “But for you, the Ark is definitely going to put down some tighter restrictions when they get here. No more smoking.”

Bellamy shakes his head about that earlier remark. “You’re not dying, Jasper.”

Jasper inhales more smoke and exhales with a sad smile. “You don’t know that.” 

Bellamy responds truthfully. “No, I don’t.” The fire crackles before them. 

“It’s weird,” Jasper says. He stares up at the night sky. The stars shine brightly. “If we were on the Ark, I would’ve been floated by now, and I was ready for it. I didn’t want to die, but I’d accepted it. And now, I’ve been given this second chance where I could maybe finally do what I want, and it’s being taken from me. Only this time, I’m not ready.” Jasper inhales more smoke and looks at Bellamy. Bellamy just watches him. Jasper's face grows pinker. He stands to leave. “Just ignore me. I think the smoke is kicking in.”

Bellamy reaches for Jasper’s wrist and draws him back down. Bellamy’s fingertips slide from Jasper’s wrist to his hand, taking the roll from between his fingers. Bellamy brings it to his lips and inhales. It takes some willpower not to cough, but he’s successful in slowly exhaling. Bellamy hands it back to Jasper, who watched this with fascination. Jasper numbly takes another hit. It’s almost burned out.

“What do you want to do with your second chance?” Bellamy asks. His voice is somewhat raspy, not used to the smoke.

“Uhh.” Jasper shrugs. “Just boring life stuff. Design my own home. Have a fulfilling job. Get laid. Eventually fall in love. Maybe find happiness along the way.” Jasper laughs humorlessly. “Saying it out loud just sounds like a dumb fantasy.” He drops the end of the blunt to the ground and twists his boot into it, extinguishing it. 

“It’s not dumb.” Bellamy reaches for Jasper’s second blunt. He holds it carefully to the flame in a way he doesn’t get burnt. Bellamy takes a hit and passes it back to Jasper. “Everyone wants that.”

Jasper inhales, exhales, passes it back. “Even you?”

“Even me.” Inhale, exhale, pass. “You’re going to live that life.”

Jasper smiles. “What are you going to do? Make me?”

“Damn right.” Bellamy grins. “Whatever it takes.”

Jasper laughs, delighted. “In that case, I’ll make sure you live your life too.”

It’s getting colder. Bellamy can feel heat radiating from Jasper. The space between them diminished at some point, probably when Bellamy stopped Jasper from leaving. The gap lessons with every pass. In the back of his mind, Bellamy’s aware that sharing a cigarette is an intimate experience. Each time Jasper’s fingers brush against his, the air becomes more charged, more electric.

Bellamy watches Jasper when he’s not looking. His eyes trace the curve of Jasper’s hair down to his eyes and nose. When Jasper smiles at something he says, there’s no denying it. He’s beautiful. Bellamy wonders if he realizes it. 

Jasper catches Bellamy’s gaze and smirks. Bellamy looks away. So he _does_ realize it. Bastard. When Bellamy looks back, Jasper is observing him. Neither makes a move to glance away. Jasper inhales and exhales forcefully. The smoke blows just under Bellamy’s chin, grazing his neck.

Whatever they’re smoking must make them bold because Bellamy says, “I can help with one of the things on your list.”

Jasper hums in thought. “Which one?” They both know.

“Get laid.”

Jasper smiles. “I’ll think about it.”. He takes the joint back and pauses as an idea occurs. “Can I try something I saw in an old movie once?”

Bellamy’s curious. “Sure.”

Jasper nods. He takes one last hit and tosses the blunt aside. Then without hesitation, Jasper grabs Bellamy’s jaw and kisses him, awkward but determined. When Jasper’s tongue slides along Bellamy’s lips, he can’t help but give in. Then something interesting happens. Jasper exhales into Bellamy’s mouth. Oh. The smoke. Bellamy breathes in and Jasper backs away, watching. Their eyes lock as Bellamy breathes out. The smoke flickers away.

“I think it’s called shotgunning,” Jasper explains. His hands fidget in his lap. It must have taken him a lot of confidence to make that move, and now the nerves are coming back full force. “Was that okay?”

Rather than answer, Bellamy reaches forward, sliding his fingers to rest under Jasper’s jaw, and kisses him again. This time, a real kiss. He lets his hands drift upwards to card through Jasper’s hair. It’s not as soft as it looks. Bellamy doesn’t mind. Jasper’s hands tighten on his jacket, pulling Bellamy closer until he’s almost in Jasper’s lap. Jasper’s stronger than he expected. Jasper’s many more things than he expected. Enough so that Bellamy tries to invite him to bed with a kiss.

But this is more than just a kiss, isn’t it? This could be their last intimate interaction with someone ever, and they both know it. 

Jasper breaks the kiss. “When can I accept that offer?” he asks, breathless.

“As early as now,” Bellamy responds. “We’ll be alone in my tent.”

“Perfect.” 

Bellamy and Jasper were lucky enough to make it through one more week together, but like the smoke they shared on Unity Day, their connection burned hot and quick. The day their relationship ended was the day the dropship doors closed with Jasper inside and Bellamy outside. After time with no trace of each other, they assumed the other was dead, and they moved on. Their promise to make sure the other lived a good life would go unfulfilled.


	2. Chapter 2

_“I don't wanna talk  
About things we've gone through  
Though it's hurting me, now it's history.”_

**Jasper**

It’s been one week since the lever was pulled on Mount Weather, and Jasper still hasn’t processed it. It doesn’t feel real, like a nightmare he can’t shake. Everyone else goes on with their lives - business as normal, but Jasper doesn’t have that ability. Why is it that an entire society was destroyed, but only he feels the weight of it? It’s not fair.

Clarke immediately disappeared. According to Bellamy, she didn’t want to face the consequences of what she did. Jokes on her because Bellamy and Monty haven’t faced any consequences. They received nothing other than thank yous and sympathy for having to make such a “difficult choice.” Fucking disgusting.

Jasper hasn’t spoken to either of them since. There’s nothing left to say.

This morning, Abby asked him to escort a small team to Mount Weather to survey the medical equipment and technology. Despite having mixed feelings on stealing from the dead, some innocent and some not, Jasper agreed. He just wanted to find something to remember Maya by, and he wasn’t in the right state of mind a week ago.

So now he watches Jackson, Raven, and Sinclair examine the medical bay. They rifle through every cabinet, locked or unlocked, and plan to carry as much medicine as they can back. They’ll have to make a second trip for the heavier technology. 

Jasper still doesn’t know what to think of it, but it’s giving him a headache. He turns to leave.

“Where are you going?” Bellamy asks when he pushes the door open.

Abby had failed to mention Bellamy would be on the guard detail. Jasper can’t look at him.

“Out,” Jasper answers. He begins the walk towards Maya’s home.

“Then I’m going with you.” Bellamy matches his pace.

“I don’t need a babysitter,” Jasper seethes.

“We don’t know if it’s safe to wander off alone. Grounders have just as much access to Mount Weather as we do.” There’s no getting rid of him.

“Fine. Just don’t talk to me.” Jasper avoids looking at Bellamy and says nothing else, leaving them in silence. 

Whenever Jasper looks at Bellamy, he feels many things, all of them negative. He feels resentment for Bellamy’s hand in destroying Mount Weather. He feels the shame of not being trusted to kill Cage and save everyone. And he feels jealous about Bellamy living life like nothing happened.

Underneath it all, Jasper feels guilt. Not only over Maya, but over leaving Bellamy outside the dropship to die in the ring of fire. Jasper was convinced he killed him by igniting the fuel. If not for the distraction of a new environment, it could have broken him. It’s the reason he was determined not to let anyone else he cared about die. And guess what happened.

Looking at Bellamy is too painful of a reminder. So Jasper looks away.

Jasper opens a nondescript door into Maya’s apartment, leaving Bellamy outside. Her family’s home is small, just like every other complex here, but it has its own personality. Her family loved art, so several framed paintings hang throughout the room. On a desk remains scattered art supplies: brushes, paint, pens. Jasper wonders which member of the family was the artist. Maybe Maya, though she never mentioned it.

Jasper examines a shelf along the main wall. It’s lined with pictures of Maya and her family, her mother only in the older photos. Jasper reaches for a solo photograph of Maya but stops. He doesn’t want to separate her from her family. It would be selfish. There must be something else.

Jasper opens one of the doors in the hallway. Maya’s bedroom. The air is suffocating. He forces himself to breathe deeply before going inside. The room appears like she could be back any second. Her bed is hastily made, a sweater lies on the carpet, and a glass of water sits on the desk, half-empty. It’s like she took a step outside before planning to return. She never will.

There’s a small electronic on the desk. Jasper picks it up - an MP3 player with Maya’s name on the back. He clicks a button, but it doesn’t turn on. He tugs open the desk drawer in search of a charger and headphones, finds them, and plugs them in. Luckily, electricity is still flowing. The device begins to glow.

Electric guitar and drum beats flood his ears. Jasper sits on the carpet to listen, knees tucked to his chest. The MP3 was caught in the middle of a song. Rock music, maybe.

_“Should I stay or should I go?  
If I go, there will be trouble.  
And if I stay it will be double,  
So come on and let me know.”_

Jasper’s eyes grow hot. Why didn’t she finish the song? Something must have interrupted her. He blinks and feels tears roll down his face.

Someone opens the front door. “Jasper, what’s taking so long?” Bellamy calls from the living room. Footsteps, then Bellamy’s in Maya’s room. Jasper only sees him below the knees.

“You shouldn’t be in here,” Jasper says, voice gravelly. His throat hurts. 

“We’re getting ready to leave.” There’s something in Bellamy’s tone that says he’s gearing up for something. “Listen, I’m sorry-”

“Don’t,” Jasper interrupts. He wipes at his eyes, then pauses the music and takes the headphones off. “I won’t listen to your apology.”

“Please,” Bellamy persists, “I’m not proud of what happened here, but it was our only choice.”

Jasper stands and makes eye contact with Bellamy for the first time in a week, full of rage. At least Bellamy has the decency to look startled. 

“ _You_ happened here, Bellamy,” Jasper fumes. “We both know there was another choice. You just didn’t trust me to kill Cage.” Jasper points outside the door. “These people’s lives are on you!”

“Cage was surrounded by armed men!” Bellamy fires back. “Should I have just stood by and let you get killed?” 

“Yes!” Jasper shouts. “Absolutely, you should have! Because then you would have truly been out of options.” 

His tears won’t stop, so Jasper turns away from Bellamy and looks at the MP3, twisting it to see Maya’s name written on the back. “You should have waited,” he repeats, quieter this time.

Bellamy takes a step towards Jasper. “I’m sorry, but I wasn’t going to take that chance,” Bellamy says.

Jasper breathes in and out slowly, before asking, “If you had the chance to go back, would you have done it differently?”

Bellamy shakes his head. “No.”

Jasper scoffs and nods. “Then you’re not sorry,” he says before tucking Maya’s MP3 into his jacket and stepping around Bellamy to leave.

***

**Bellamy**

It’s been over a week since the Grounders broke their alliance and Mount Weather fell. Since then, Arkadia has been scrambling to keep its people safe. Abby and Kane agreed that the Chancellor needed to travel to Polis to strike a truce with Commander Lexa. However, Abby was too weak from the bone marrow transfusion, so she gave the Chancellor pin to Kane. Besides, as a doctor, it would be unwise to leave her people at such a crucial time.

Before Kane left for Polis as Chancellor, he assembled defense teams. He thought it was important for the squad leaders to have experience on the ground, so Bellamy and Miller were each given a team of four, made up of remnants of the 100. They alternate patrol shifts along with six other teams. When they’re not on patrol, they’re training with Octavia, now a Grounder tactic specialist.

The patrols are necessary but boring work. That’s why when Abby approached him about the supply run to Mount Weather, Bellamy accepted without hesitation. If he had known Jasper would be there, he wouldn’t have gone. 

Jasper’s furious with him, and Bellamy understands where he’s coming from, truly. However, Bellamy remains strong in his belief that he and Clarke made the only possible decision. As much as Bellamy hates to think it, Jasper wouldn’t have killed Cage without dying first. By pulling the lever, they saved their people and Jasper.

Or so he thought. As soon as they got back from the supply run, Jasper began to unravel. Maya’s death hit him hard. He’s not talking to anyone, not Monty, not Octavia or Raven, and certainly not Bellamy. Monty checked in with the cafeteria and confirmed Jasper’s skipping rations too. 

And worst of all is the alcohol. Jasper had always enjoyed a good drink, but now he’s drowning in it. Whenever Jasper leaves his tent, if he leaves his tent, a flask is always in hand. It’s only a matter of time until he stumbles into a dangerous situation.

And that’s exactly what happens.

Bellamy and his team are on night shift patrol. Basically, they stand guard around Arkadia’s perimeter and radio Bellamy if anything is off. His team hates working late, but Bellamy enjoys it. If he wasn’t on watch, he’d be lying in bed alone with his thoughts. He prefers the distraction. 

As Bellamy stares into the trees, watching for movement, he hears a rustling near the electric fence. He turns to see a figure using their jacket to pry apart the wires and slip through. It’s too dark. Bellamy can’t tell who it is. The figure shrugs back on their jacket and disappears into the treeline.

Bellamy reaches for his walkie and says, “Someone from inside slipped out the fence into the woods, probably a teenager. I’ll bring them back. Radio if something happens.”

After receiving the affirmatives from his team, Bellamy goes after the Arkadian, quietly. He doesn’t want to scare them into running deeper into the forest and getting hurt, so Bellamy follows them at a distance, slowly getting closer.

The figure passes a patch of moonlight leaking through the branches, revealing their face. It’s Jasper. Shit. This will be complicated. If Bellamy were to tell him to go back, he wouldn’t listen. 

Bellamy considers his choices. This isn’t worth calling his team over. It also isn’t worth getting into an argument with Jasper. Best option is to follow Jasper until Bellamy can tell he’s safe, then leave. This way he can do his job while preserving any remaining respect between them.

After a few minutes, Bellamy knows where they’re going, so it’s no surprise when they arrive. The dropship. 

It’s been a long time since he’s been here. Almost everything is gone, relocated to Arkadia. Only the dropship and broken wooden structures remain. It’s strange to think this used to be the center of their community.

Jasper sits down near the graveyard. He rummages around his jacket and pulls out the MP3 and his flask. Great. If he wasn’t drunk now, he will be soon. Jasper takes a long swig from the bottle and curls in on himself. He’s crying.

Bellamy’s starting to sense he made a mistake. He shouldn’t be watching this from the shadows. It’s a total breach of privacy. He could just leave and pretend this never happened, but there’s a chance Jasper will need help getting home. Bellamy wouldn’t forgive himself if something bad happened.

Bellamy steps forward to call Jasper’s name when he sees movement out of the corner of his eye. He holds his rifle up to look through the scope. It’s a Grounder, alone but armed with a bow and arrow. He stares straight at Jasper.

This isn’t good.

The Grounder takes an arrow and draws the string. Bellamy shoots him before he can aim. The Grounder crashes to the dirt, and his arrow hits a grave, causing Jasper to jump back. He turns to Bellamy, who walks toward him while scanning the trees for additional movement.

“Bellamy?” he asks.

“Get up,” Bellamy orders as he grabs Jasper’s arm and tugs upward. “There could be more. We need to go back now.”

Now standing, Jasper yanks his arm away. “Why are you here?” he demands. “Were you following me?”

“We don’t have time for this,” Bellamy urges. “I’ll explain later.”

Jasper doesn’t move. “No, I think you’ll explain now.”

This is ridiculous. “Does the fact that I just dropped a Grounder aiming to kill you mean nothing?”

“Don’t ever follow me.” Jasper ignores the question.

“Jasper, come on. You’re drunk. You’ll get yourself killed.”

“So what?” Jasper says and looks out into the trees, searching. He raises his arms wide and shouts, “Do it already!”

Bellamy lunges forward and covers Jasper’s mouth with his hand. Jasper struggles against him. “Are you insane?” Bellamy hisses into his ear. Jasper responds by biting his hand. Bellamy curses and lets go. If there were any more Grounders in the area, surely they would have attacked by now.

Jasper takes a few steps away, then turns to Bellamy. “If you’re so worried, just leave,” he says.

Bellamy sighs. “I’m worried about _you_ , dumbass.”

“I never fucking asked,” Jasper argues, exasperated. Bellamy doesn’t know how to respond.

Jasper takes a deep breath and turns to the forest clearing, the place where the tents used to be. After a minute, he speaks again, quieter this time. “Whatever we had is gone, okay? It died the day the Grounders attacked.” He turns back to Bellamy. “You don’t have to protect me anymore.”

Bellamy nods. “I know that,” he responds. Of course he does. “Can’t I protect a friend?”

Jasper smiles sadly. “You think you saved me at Mount Weather, but you didn’t,” he says. “It’s killing me that you, Monty, and Clarke valued my life over hundreds of others. I’m not worth that much.”

So that’s what this is about.

“Jasper, you may hate us for it, but we would have pulled the lever to save any of our people. That’s why we did it,” Bellamy explains, “so don’t torture yourself over being worth it or not. You’re enough as it is.”

Jasper’s eyes are watery. “It doesn’t feel like it,” he laughs miserably and takes another swig of alcohol. Bellamy doesn’t try to stop him. “Maya forgave us before she died. I don’t know how, but she did. And yet, I still think I could’ve done better. Like somehow, I could’ve saved them.”

Bellamy can relate to that.

“I feel the same way,” he says. “With Mount Weather, but also with everything before that. I feel like I could’ve saved Wells, or Charlotte, or Finn. Anyone, if things had been different.” Jasper watches Bellamy as if he’s holding onto every word. Bellamy continues. “I think it’s a guilt that leaders take on. ‘I bear it, so they don’t have to.’ That’s what Clarke said before she left. It’s why we’re the most affected.”

“I wish someone else was leading us in Mount Weather then,” Jasper jokes.

Bellamy smiles. “No, you don’t.”

Jasper shrugs. “I don’t. So, how do you deal with it?”

Bellamy scoffs. “I’m still figuring that out myself. Trying to do better helps. Also, keeping yourself distracted and not thinking about what happened.”

“Oh,” Jasper responds, “I’m already doing that part.” He waves the flask.

“Right, well, maybe not the best coping mechanism-” 

Jasper interrupts by flicking him off.

“-but suit yourself, I guess,” Bellamy finishes lamely. Jasper doesn’t respond to that, so Bellamy asks, “Why were you out here anyway?”

“Mourning,” Jasper says. Bellamy motions for him to continue. “There was no memorial for Mount Weather. I even heard they burned the bodies the same day they died, not in a respectful way either, just a mass cremation.” Jasper shakes his head. “Disgusting, really. Anyway, I thought it would be nice to just sit here and think. Like a memorial.”

“Did it help any?” Bellamy asks.

“Not really,” Jasper says. He glances at the place the Grounder lays and sighs. “I guess we need to go back now.”

Bellamy nods. The walk back to Arkadia is silent, but it’s not uncomfortable. Much different than their walk to Maya’s house a few days prior. Their talk ended better than Bellamy expected. He just hopes Jasper understands his choice in Mount Weather. Maybe he’ll even forgive him one day.

When they reach the fence, Bellamy says, “Take it easy on the alcohol, okay?”

Jasper slips through the gap. “Don’t worry,” he says smiling. “I’m not going to drink myself to death. Not today at least.”

“That’s not as comforting as you think,” Bellamy responds.

“It wasn’t meant to be,” Jasper says. With that, he walks away, leaving Bellamy alone.


End file.
